Happy, Fun Adventure Times in a Fantasy World

Happy Fun Adventure Times in a Fantasy World Act II, Episode 5

The Empire Strikes Back

Last time on Happy Fun Adventure Times in a Fantasy World…

After a long day on the trail of the Teraphobian regiment, Sad Woofer and Alucard got plastered in the woods and had a fireside chat while Frances Willard and Ranger Rick kicked back and enjoyed the weather. The next day, Ranger Rick scouted ahead and managed to spot a clearing in the woods that looked like a good spot to camp. The gang headed in that direction and finally arrived at the clearing, which was empty save for a ring of smooth, identical stones encircling a chest. Naturally, Alucard opened the chest, and he and Ranger Rick went to town shoveling a seemingly endless supply of riches into their pockets, bags, fanny packs, and man purses. Frances Willard got in on the action as well, and soon the trio had more wealth than a Nigerian prince whose assets are locked away safely in a bank beyond his reach due to an unjust coup d'état. Because Suspicious Wolf is suspicious of anything that didn’t come from the poor district, he opted out of the plunder and refused to enter the ring. He was eventually persuaded to join the rest of the group in the center of the circle by a very persistent rock wall.

Turns out Suspicious Wolf was right to be suspicious (for once), as everyone in his party had been replaced by fae dopplegangers! The real versions of the heroes woke up in the Faerie Court and were made aware an outstanding balance on their accounts, a result of Mr. Bones “gifting” them immortality. According to the Faerie Queen Nero, Mr. Bones – whose real name is Faedick – is actually a former member of the Winter Faerie Court. He recently went rogue and stole the faerie’s immortality. The Fae court believes he may be doing this in order to aid Morganna, the former queen of all Fae and sister of the goddess Arturia.

Because the heroes are imbued with this stolen immortality, they have been commanded to repay the debt by performing three tasks for the Winter Faerie Court. Fortunately, the Fae are a benevolent folk that recognizes that the heroes did not intentionally get into this situation, so the queen has promised a reward upon completion of these three tasks.  The first task is to find out what Mr. Bones’ true objective is.

With that, the heroes were returned to their bodies…only to discover they were in each other’s bodies – and not in the gay way, unfortunately. Rasker is Valdur and Valdur is Rasker and Vladimir is Hardin and Hardin is Vladimir! Confusing, I know. Anyway, the gang took their new bodies and set out for the capital of the Teraphobian Empire. They were accosted by drunk and silly slavers during their first night at a seedy hotel and killed a poor guy on his second day on the job. RIP 2-Day Larry. Fleeing in the middle of the night, they then proceeded onward to the next settlement, where they’ve discovered twenty or so tracks leading into the tavern – tracks that looks suspiciously like the soldiers they were hunting in the woods.

What will happen next time? Will our heroes get their bodies back? Will Vladimir as Hardin get revenge for Hardin as Vladimir dumping out his liquor? Will Valdur as Rasker remember how to count to lots? Will Rasker as Valdur save the day? FIND OUT NEXT TIME on Happy Fun Adventure Time in a Fantasy World Act III, Episode 1: Brunch on Meat Mountain.


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