Happy, Fun Adventure Times in a Fantasy World

Act I: Chapter 3
The Duck of Doom Returns!

Last time on Happy Fun Adventure Times in a Fantasy World…Our heroes continued faffing about underground in the Water Spout, a popular Spider bar. Rat-faced Rainman got super drunk and eventually passed out; Sir Fluffybutt-chan the 3rd put on a top hat and accidentally gave a Spider barback some bug spray to sniff; Soldier Seventy-Shoot-First-Ask-Questions-Later found a secret door with a mysterious puzzle, and Leeorc Jenkins, Lord of Ingesting Mysterious and Probably Poisonous Substances, had a lovely chat with a friendly Spider dad. After that, the gang successfully solved the mysterious puzzle and gained access to the secret room, where they found a lame emo diary, a sweet box full of absolutely nothing useful, and a super awesome trap door with a convenient tunnel leading out of the Underland. Naturally, the helpful knight burned a few casks of alcohol sitting at the bottom of the tunnel to keep everyone else from temptation. After fighting amongst themselves and then killing this poor shaman that just wanted to know what was in the box, our heroes hitched a ride to Aodalas and got a room at Safe House #4, the popular safe house owned by The Spreading Adventure all Over the World Brigade. What will our heroes do next? Will they find the legendary dragon Bahamut to find answers about the Staff of Mysteriously Disappearing's resting place? Will they join the Cult of the Nine? FIND OUT NEXT TIME ON Happy Fun Adventure Times in a Fantasy World, Episode 4: “I Couldn't Become a Hero, So I Reluctantly Decided to Join a Cult.”

New Item Acquired: Mysterious Journal
Found in a small personal quarters in the Underland

The entries below were found in a journal on a small writing desk in a room in the Underland. The room contained a bed, some clothing, a cloak, an oil lamp, and the desk. Everything in the room is coated in a thick layer of dust. This appears to be a new journal, as only the first 3 pages have any text. 

Day 17 of Firemoot, the year 1010

Everything is nearly ready for our plan. The new city is nearly done, according to reports from Lord Crabbersnatch and his merchant's guild, and Dedrick has taken our daughter north so she won't be near Monere when it starts. It's too tedious waiting around down here, but I have no choice. Dedrick fears the enemy's assassins and I must keep watch over the staff or everything will have been for nothing. The Underlanders are ready — Queen Azshara has assured me that the many who will be resettling in the overworld are fit and able should they get involved in the battle overhead. If all goes well, however, I should be able to disrupt the fight and get everyone to safety. Azshara has demanded that her throne take the staff into its care afterward. I suppose there's no harm in it. If Bahamut is correct, there are only 3 people in this world that can wield it anyway: one is but a babe, one is (supposedly) imprisoned for eternity, and well, I'm right here. Dedrick insists we ought to destroy it afterward…but I don't know…We have stories in my world of powerful weapons like this, but I'd always thought they were myths. There's still too much to discover about Forlonde and all of Eao, really. Ah, I've started rambling again. I've been down here too long. I miss the sky.

Day 22 of Firemoot, the year 1010

Dedrick returned today. He was carrying a small orc child. Apparently its parents were killed in the night by the enemy's assassins. They must have been brave to have been living on the surface in times like these. Dedrick insists on raising the child. I can't say I disapprove; it may send a good message if Dedrick is to become king like the rumors suggest. I don’t know what my place will be after all this. As long as Alara is safe, I really don't care. The preparations are complete. All we do now is wait for Herzog and his treacherous men to bring the fight to Monere.

Day 23 of Firemoot, the year 1010

It's finally happening. I can hear the chaos above, even through all the earth and stone overhead. Dedrick will send a messenger when it's time, but I'm anxious to get out there. The others down here are restless, as well. Captain Haku and his beastfolk seem to be the only ones at ease. There have been at least 5 fights in the orc camp tonight and the Naga soldiers have been downing grog since noon. The captains have been sending scouts through the passage hourly to make sure the path will be clear for me when it's time. I just hope it isn't too late by then.

Act 1: Chapter 2
Heroic Adventures in Underland

Last time on The Walking Dead Game of Thrones Happy Fun Adventure Times in a Fantasy World…

Our heroes set out to the Underland on a quest to find The Staff of Mysteries a cheaper, way worse staff than Rasker's and rescue the princess. To their surprise, the ruins of Monere were quite lively, with a fun, festive carnival, funnel cakes and games! After saying goodbye to soldiers JJ and JJ, Rat Scrotum and his pets, Wolfie-kouhai, Orcish Fratboy and Dad76, ventured down to the Underland, where they met lots of new friends. Rat Scrotum had a great time playing hide and seek with Sylock the Defiler and Orcish Fratboy picked up a mysterious shipment from an old pal. Then the gang got knocked out by a gaseous statue and had to be hauled to a tavern by Wolfie-kouhai, where there were lots of cute spiders and Alice the gothic Naga princess/part-time worker. After drinking their fill, our heroes were escorted to meet the Naga Queen Azshjara, who hired them to bring the staff to her instead of Mr. Bones. After a good night's sleep, the gang headed down to the tunnels of the Underland, fought a ton of slimes, released a shadow dragon, snuck past a mysterious sorceress frozen in ice, picked up a duck in a dungeon, and killed Rat Scrotum. Will our heroes find a way out of the winding tunnels? Will they uncover the secret of the staff's final resting place? WILL THE DUCK OF DOOM RETURN?!  Find out next time on Dragon Ball Z Happy Fun Adventure Times in a Fantasy World, episode 3: The Duck of Doom Returns!


Patch Notes 1.01
Notes Regarding the Latest Patch
  • Moved katana to the Heavy Weapons category so that samurai feel useful
  • Increased movement speed penalties for large shield so knights can’t be so speedy
  • Nerfed short blades and hatchets when single-wielded and clarified benefits of dual-wielding.
  • Removed water from chambers where slimes are present
  • Buffed all enemy defenses on days ending in “y”
  • Reduced amiability of all NPCs by 10 due to the Shadow Dragon incident
  • Nerfed Mr. Bones and increased respawn timer by one turn
  • Buffed Alice due to shady characters in her workplace. She now gains +10 when making a perception check
  • Increased penalties for treason against Archduke Cribberfits
Act I: Chapter 1
The Beginning of a Happy, Fun Adventure Time in a Fantasy World

Last time on Dragon Ball Z Game of Thrones Happy Fun Adventure Times in a Fantasy World…

The Archduke Bengalor Crabbersnatch threw a killer party at his mansion in honor of the 20th Founder's Day. After a full night of fun festivities, all the guests were simply dead on their feet, and our heroes found themselves suddenly the center of attention. Rat Scrotum, that cheeky devil, took up skydiving as his subclass, while green Russel Brand, Wolfie-senpai, and Soldier 76 challenged the Duke's personal guard to a foot race. What fun! Oh, and Mr. Bones showed up to give the gang a quest to find The Staff of Mysteries a cheaper, way worse staff than Rasker's and rescue the princess. Then our heroes decided to take a vacation and set out to see the sights of old Monere. What's in store next for our adventurous trio plus one? Find out next time on Naruto Happy Fun Adventure Times in a Fantasy World!


Act I: Prologue
Founder's Day Gala: The 20th Annual Celebration of the Founding of the Consolidated Realm

You are all invited to a celebration of the Realm's founding, hosted by Duke Bangalor Crabbersnatch. You're there in different capacities, of course. Some of you may be there as hired help, some of you may be acting as security for the event or as bodyguards to a noble, and some of you may even be there as guests of honor. No matter your reason for attending the gala, we wish you all a fun, memorable evening in the Duke's hospitality. 


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